Breathing exercises to slow down

Breathing exercises have a slightly worthy reputation, which is a shame, because the useful version takes about ninety seconds and asks nothing of you beyond sitting where you already are. You do not need to close your eyes, sit cross-legged, or believe anything in particular.

Why the exhale is the part that matters

Your heart speeds up very slightly when you breathe in and slows down very slightly when you breathe out. It is a real, measurable thing, and you can feel it if you pay attention with a hand on your chest.

Which means the length of your out-breath is a small dial you have direct access to. Breathe out for longer than you breathe in, and you spend more of each cycle in the slowing-down half. Do that for a minute or two and the effect adds up. Nothing mystical, no special technique, just arithmetic applied to something you were doing anyway.

This is also why counting matters more than depth. People often assume the goal is enormous, dramatic breaths. It is not. Big forced breaths tend to make you light-headed, which is the opposite of settling. Ordinary-sized breaths, with a longer exit, work better.

Four patterns worth knowing

The extended exhale: four in, six out

The simplest one, and the one to start with. Breathe in through your nose for four counts, out for six. If six feels short, go to eight. Repeat for a minute or two.

Good for: almost anything, including lying in bed with your eyes shut. It has no learning curve and nothing to remember.

Box breathing: four, four, four, four

In for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four. Trace the four sides of a square with your attention as you go.

Good for: a busy head, and for anyone who finds a plain in-and-out too loose to hold on to. The holds give your attention something to do, which is often the actual problem. It is used in high-pressure jobs for exactly that reason.

Less good for: sleep. The holds keep you slightly alert.

4-7-8: in for four, hold for seven, out for eight

The most demanding of the four, and the longest exhale of the set. Breathe in through the nose for four, hold for seven, and let it out through the mouth for eight. Four rounds is plenty.

Good for: the end of the day. The long out-breath is what people notice.

A caveat: if seven counts of holding feels like a struggle, the exercise is fighting you and you will not settle. Shorten the whole thing and keep the ratio: two, three and a half, four. The proportions are the point, not the numbers.

The physiological sigh: two in, one long out

Two inhales through the nose, the second one short and stacked on top of the first, then a long slow exhale through the mouth. One or two rounds is enough.

Good for: the fastest of the four. This is the one your body already does on its own when you are settling down after crying, or during sleep. You are just doing it on purpose.

How to actually do one

1. Do not sit up straight on purpose. Whatever position you are in is fine. Rearranging yourself first is a small extra hurdle and it makes the whole thing less likely to happen.
2. Count in your head, not with a timer. Your own counting pace is close enough, and reaching for a clock breaks it.
3. Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth or nose. Either exit works. The nose is quieter, which matters if there are other people in the room.
4. Stop at a minute or two. There is no bonus for continuing, and a long session makes it into a chore you will skip tomorrow.
5. Expect it to be undramatic. You will not feel transformed. You will feel very slightly less wound up, which is exactly what it is for.

When it does not work

Two honest limits.

If you are properly wound up, counting can feel like being handed homework, and the exercise turns into one more thing you are failing at. In that state, moving is usually better: stand up, walk to another room, get some cold water on your wrists. Breathing exercises are easier from a standing start than from a sprint.

And some people find that paying close attention to their breathing makes them uncomfortably aware of it, to the point where it feels harder to breathe normally. That is common, it is not a sign anything is wrong, and the fix is simple: pick something else to pay attention to instead. Watching something move works just as well, and so does the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise.

Calm Moments has all four of these as a guided circle to follow, alongside a feed of slow scenes. Free, no ads, collects no data.

Do you need an app for this?

No, and it would be strange to pretend otherwise. You have everything you need. Four counts in, six out, done.

What an app is genuinely good for is the counting. Following a circle that expands and contracts is easier than keeping numbers in your head, especially at the end of the day when counting is precisely the thing you cannot be bothered to do. It also removes the small decision of how long to keep going.

In Calm Moments the four patterns sit next to the feed rather than in front of it. You can scroll slow scenes and never open them, and nothing counts how often you do. If you want the guided version it is there, and if you would rather just watch something move for a few minutes, that works too.